Why people say ‘call me if you need help’ and then never help you when you actually ask for it.
Why people never reply to any messages even when you ask them how they are.
Why people say ‘hey I’ll call you’ and never call back.
Why people who have known pain themselves can hurt somebody else so badly.
Why people say ‘I cannot hurt somebody deliberately’ and go on to do just that.
Why seemingly good friends grow silent and distant the moment they know your salary is same or more than theirs.
Why people keep calling you to find out whether you got a job or not and get unhappy when you finally do.
Why people’s first reaction to any news is how it’s going to affect them.
Why people look at you strangely if you decide to be nice to the boss who’s a bitch in office but a nice person outside.
Why people think that doing something without a reason is ‘being adventurous.’
Why people stop talking to you all of a sudden and then expect you to understand even if they are not friends.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Snob Value:
A few days back, I went to Westside. Since I was waiting for a friend to arrive, I decided to check a few lipsticks. I usually stick to Maybelline or Revlon. Spending over 500 bucks on lipsticks I think is a criminal waste of money. Yaya, I know Chambor has better colours and texture but I still think I can manage well with lesser varieties. You might ask me, then why not Lakme? It’s just that I’m simply bored of it. Since college days we have used Tips N Toes, Lakme or a lovely colour range by Persona. So these are something new.
Anyway, so I went to the Revlon counter and there was a guy behind it. I hate guys on lipsticks and lingerie counters. They don’t know anything and then make the women uncomfortable. They will only show you a few colours and expect you to decide in that! No fun at all!!
So I kept prodding this guy to show me ‘More’. Eventually he showed me a bright purplish colour and when I screwed up my nose, he pointed to the Katrina Kaif poster and said “Madam, main aapko Katrina Kaif wala colour dikha raha hoon. Yeh colour loge toh, sabko pata chalega ki aap kaun sa colour use kar rahe ho.” I gaped at him for a few seconds….couldn’t he figure out the Contrasting difference between any ‘model-type’ and me. I ignored his comment.
Then he showed me another colour of a higher price range and insisted that I take it. “Iska cover (packaging) dekho…itna stylish ki jab bhi likaloge sab sirf dekhenge!” As in make a huge style statement!
I was aghast! What a sales spiel! He gave to a completely wrong target audience but I’m sure this is what he gives to others too because that’s what they want to hear. Just how much this snob-culture has percolated to every level is simply amazing.
So, Delhi actually is living UP to its reputation. And in full style.
Anyway, so I went to the Revlon counter and there was a guy behind it. I hate guys on lipsticks and lingerie counters. They don’t know anything and then make the women uncomfortable. They will only show you a few colours and expect you to decide in that! No fun at all!!
So I kept prodding this guy to show me ‘More’. Eventually he showed me a bright purplish colour and when I screwed up my nose, he pointed to the Katrina Kaif poster and said “Madam, main aapko Katrina Kaif wala colour dikha raha hoon. Yeh colour loge toh, sabko pata chalega ki aap kaun sa colour use kar rahe ho.” I gaped at him for a few seconds….couldn’t he figure out the Contrasting difference between any ‘model-type’ and me. I ignored his comment.
Then he showed me another colour of a higher price range and insisted that I take it. “Iska cover (packaging) dekho…itna stylish ki jab bhi likaloge sab sirf dekhenge!” As in make a huge style statement!
I was aghast! What a sales spiel! He gave to a completely wrong target audience but I’m sure this is what he gives to others too because that’s what they want to hear. Just how much this snob-culture has percolated to every level is simply amazing.
So, Delhi actually is living UP to its reputation. And in full style.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Life on a Metro:
After struggling and facing all sorts of crap for years, I now hate any form of public transport including the Metro. I don’t take it until and unless I am too tired to drive or the distance is way too much. Now that the newness of the Metro is gone, it has become The preferred mode of transportation. Imagine taking the train at 9 in the morning on a Sunday and not getting a seat!
It was supposed to ease our life a little, but nothing seems to have changed. The buses go chock-a-block, the train is always jam-packed and the traffic on the roads seems to increase everyday…..just where are all these people coming from??
Whenever I take the Metro, I usually go and stand at the other door and look out at the hazy horizon….unending houses laid in haphazard manner, some strangely named Hospital or hotel sign visible from a distance….places and building one never knew existed suddenly stand out. Once in a while pigeons fly along seemingly racing the train.
And sometimes when you do look around and notice the people in the train, one can see characteristics that have come to define the Metro-goers.
The riff-raffs or the single men (as in traveling alone) tend to gather at the exit doors, not even budging when other people get in.
The couples, dating or the newly married varieties will head straight for the other side of the door and get cozy at the corner whispering to each other.
The ‘family’ with all its battalion of kids will come and occupy the centre of the compartment where the kids can play around the pole and disturb maximum of the travelers.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law duo will usually sit and talk about what is happening in another family they know or what they will cook for the weekend gathering.
Single girls are almost always talking on the phone. While a group of girls will keep talking to each other about serials, movie stars, shopping, nail polish etc. Some do strange stuff like take off their shoes and stand…maybe they are still to get used to the idea of something being so clean.
Most women dress up in salwar-kurtas which is copied straight from the K-serials…bright colours and glittering stone work with matching bangles and ear-rings. Obviously the material is the cheap quality chiffon variety. And none uses deodorants and they will come and stand with their underarms right under your nose completely oblivious to their own stink. And this happens even in the morning….I fear to even think what happens after the whole days work! Somebody should educate them!
Young guys take the corner seat and talk about how they are doing MBA because that’s what their father wants them to do.
And the answer one gives maximum number of times when the cell phone rings – “Metro mein hoon, abhi ghar/office aa raho hoon.”
Each Metro line is a microcosm in itself – completely defined in their ways and manners, oblivious to their glaring similarities and yet strangely satisfied to share the same space and life.
It was supposed to ease our life a little, but nothing seems to have changed. The buses go chock-a-block, the train is always jam-packed and the traffic on the roads seems to increase everyday…..just where are all these people coming from??
Whenever I take the Metro, I usually go and stand at the other door and look out at the hazy horizon….unending houses laid in haphazard manner, some strangely named Hospital or hotel sign visible from a distance….places and building one never knew existed suddenly stand out. Once in a while pigeons fly along seemingly racing the train.
And sometimes when you do look around and notice the people in the train, one can see characteristics that have come to define the Metro-goers.
The riff-raffs or the single men (as in traveling alone) tend to gather at the exit doors, not even budging when other people get in.
The couples, dating or the newly married varieties will head straight for the other side of the door and get cozy at the corner whispering to each other.
The ‘family’ with all its battalion of kids will come and occupy the centre of the compartment where the kids can play around the pole and disturb maximum of the travelers.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law duo will usually sit and talk about what is happening in another family they know or what they will cook for the weekend gathering.
Single girls are almost always talking on the phone. While a group of girls will keep talking to each other about serials, movie stars, shopping, nail polish etc. Some do strange stuff like take off their shoes and stand…maybe they are still to get used to the idea of something being so clean.
Most women dress up in salwar-kurtas which is copied straight from the K-serials…bright colours and glittering stone work with matching bangles and ear-rings. Obviously the material is the cheap quality chiffon variety. And none uses deodorants and they will come and stand with their underarms right under your nose completely oblivious to their own stink. And this happens even in the morning….I fear to even think what happens after the whole days work! Somebody should educate them!
Young guys take the corner seat and talk about how they are doing MBA because that’s what their father wants them to do.
And the answer one gives maximum number of times when the cell phone rings – “Metro mein hoon, abhi ghar/office aa raho hoon.”
Each Metro line is a microcosm in itself – completely defined in their ways and manners, oblivious to their glaring similarities and yet strangely satisfied to share the same space and life.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Couplings:
Well, it’s true that women tend to notice other women more. Especially those who come with their boyfriends. Of course the guy gets a look too but the girl gets the Attention. Or the lookover.
“Hmmm….Stilettos! Purple bag, nice haircut, she has put make up…even her eyes are done up but the pink lipstick just doesn’t go with that outfit!”
It takes just a few seconds…even before you can finish saying “Bloodymary”. It’s just a kind of subconscious comparing…..is she better than me, what-are-my-chances-types. Not that any girl will really go out and grab the guy (with most guys being jerks nobody really wants to take that chance). But it always helps to know where you stand.
The girls when dating tends to be carefree, fun and sassy…trying to make sure that she Has the attention. After all the game is open and both players are free to leave anytime.
I however love to watch the married ones. Especially the newly weds. I have noticed two types in this category. One is the shy, first-time-touched-now-not-a-virgin variety. They look at their husbands shyly from underneath their eyelashes and let them know that they are besotted while the husband acts all macho making the woman flutter with extreme feminine delight.
The other type is the smug-I-have-finally-got-one variety. They have this I-have-made-it looks in their eyes and stance. They are bolder than their counterpart; they will walk ahead of the husband, wear a-little-bit-more revealing dress than usual and talk more animatedly. Getting married gives them the freedom to spread their wings and freedom from anxiety of not losing the guy (atleast initially!)
Sometimes I wonder if it’s in our genes to be voyeuristic and think alike or is it just herd-mentality, actions conditioned by society and our need of safety through similarity.
“Hmmm….Stilettos! Purple bag, nice haircut, she has put make up…even her eyes are done up but the pink lipstick just doesn’t go with that outfit!”
It takes just a few seconds…even before you can finish saying “Bloodymary”. It’s just a kind of subconscious comparing…..is she better than me, what-are-my-chances-types. Not that any girl will really go out and grab the guy (with most guys being jerks nobody really wants to take that chance). But it always helps to know where you stand.
The girls when dating tends to be carefree, fun and sassy…trying to make sure that she Has the attention. After all the game is open and both players are free to leave anytime.
I however love to watch the married ones. Especially the newly weds. I have noticed two types in this category. One is the shy, first-time-touched-now-not-a-virgin variety. They look at their husbands shyly from underneath their eyelashes and let them know that they are besotted while the husband acts all macho making the woman flutter with extreme feminine delight.
The other type is the smug-I-have-finally-got-one variety. They have this I-have-made-it looks in their eyes and stance. They are bolder than their counterpart; they will walk ahead of the husband, wear a-little-bit-more revealing dress than usual and talk more animatedly. Getting married gives them the freedom to spread their wings and freedom from anxiety of not losing the guy (atleast initially!)
Sometimes I wonder if it’s in our genes to be voyeuristic and think alike or is it just herd-mentality, actions conditioned by society and our need of safety through similarity.
Monday, July 2, 2007
What’s the Point?:
Friend: You girls cry for no reason.
Me: Not true. There are those sentimental lots but most of us, when we cry, we cry for more reason than one.
Friend: Elucidate.
Me: For example – you forget to wish your sister on her birthday. She’s obviously hurt. She will cry not only because you forgot, but for all the times you’ve hurt her like that, for all the times somebody important have missed out on her birthday or anything important.
Friend: I don’t get it.
Me: I can’t explain. You have to be a woman to understand this.
Friend: Try me again.
Me: OK. Suppose you leave this city and go elsewhere. I will miss you. But when I cry, it will not be just the fact that you will be gone. It will also be the fact that you will miss me too, the fact that coffee sessions will never be the same again, that there will be one less good person in this city, it will remind me of all the good friends that I have left behind, how miserable I was when my best friend in school left me when her dad got transferred, how lonely I’ll feel…….you get the drift?
Friend: One good person less in the city I understand, but why do you have to think of the past?
Me: Its not the past…..it’s about all those emotions in the past…which you don’t forget.
Friend: That’s exactly my point. These reasons are absolutely no reasons to cry….and that’s what I said….you girls cry for no reason.
Me: SIGH!!
Me: Not true. There are those sentimental lots but most of us, when we cry, we cry for more reason than one.
Friend: Elucidate.
Me: For example – you forget to wish your sister on her birthday. She’s obviously hurt. She will cry not only because you forgot, but for all the times you’ve hurt her like that, for all the times somebody important have missed out on her birthday or anything important.
Friend: I don’t get it.
Me: I can’t explain. You have to be a woman to understand this.
Friend: Try me again.
Me: OK. Suppose you leave this city and go elsewhere. I will miss you. But when I cry, it will not be just the fact that you will be gone. It will also be the fact that you will miss me too, the fact that coffee sessions will never be the same again, that there will be one less good person in this city, it will remind me of all the good friends that I have left behind, how miserable I was when my best friend in school left me when her dad got transferred, how lonely I’ll feel…….you get the drift?
Friend: One good person less in the city I understand, but why do you have to think of the past?
Me: Its not the past…..it’s about all those emotions in the past…which you don’t forget.
Friend: That’s exactly my point. These reasons are absolutely no reasons to cry….and that’s what I said….you girls cry for no reason.
Me: SIGH!!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Telly talkies:
A couple of days ago, while switching channels I came across this ‘breaking news’ on India TV. Somewhere in Bangalore, a man proclaimed that he had a stone which answers questions. If the answers is yes, the stone becomes light for him to lift easily and if the answer is no, then the stone will become so heavy that he wont be able to lift.
It’s obvious that he is a fraud. But there were enough gullible people even in the city for him to amass large amount of wealth. It took a ‘Sting Operation’ and several request from the India TV people to (hopefully) make people see sense.
But isn’t it strange that the more modern and technologically enhanced our society gets, the more superstitious the people get? The more fragmented life gets, the lesser faith you have in yourself. So even a ridiculous suggestion like the above can create such a desperate need to connect to something.
Sigh.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does the sponsorship voiceover in Star World really pronounce HCL as HechCL?
I think the guy who says Korea Sparkle in the Korea Tourism ad is really really cute. I didn’t know Koreans could be so good looking. Hmm…I think I’ll add Korea in my list of foreign travel destinations!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sample this scene from ‘Seinfeld’ on Star World.
Jerry, the comedian is dating a ‘non’ laugher!!
George is dating a model who, he thinks is bulimic coz she keeps going to the bathroom after every meal. One day he follows her to the loo and hears ‘throwing up’ type noises.
George: So its true…
Jerry: What do you mean?
George: The ‘yuucck’ noise from the bathroom.
Jerry: So you meeaan….
Elaine: Do u care?
George: Of course I Care. I don’t want my monies flushed down the toilet, go down the drain every time I pay for the meal! I want my monies to be work for some time, u know digested properly!
Hilarious!! New York lifestyle at its best! George is so straight-forwardly devious and so straight-forwardly superficial. I just love him!
It’s obvious that he is a fraud. But there were enough gullible people even in the city for him to amass large amount of wealth. It took a ‘Sting Operation’ and several request from the India TV people to (hopefully) make people see sense.
But isn’t it strange that the more modern and technologically enhanced our society gets, the more superstitious the people get? The more fragmented life gets, the lesser faith you have in yourself. So even a ridiculous suggestion like the above can create such a desperate need to connect to something.
Sigh.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does the sponsorship voiceover in Star World really pronounce HCL as HechCL?
I think the guy who says Korea Sparkle in the Korea Tourism ad is really really cute. I didn’t know Koreans could be so good looking. Hmm…I think I’ll add Korea in my list of foreign travel destinations!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sample this scene from ‘Seinfeld’ on Star World.
Jerry, the comedian is dating a ‘non’ laugher!!
George is dating a model who, he thinks is bulimic coz she keeps going to the bathroom after every meal. One day he follows her to the loo and hears ‘throwing up’ type noises.
George: So its true…
Jerry: What do you mean?
George: The ‘yuucck’ noise from the bathroom.
Jerry: So you meeaan….
Elaine: Do u care?
George: Of course I Care. I don’t want my monies flushed down the toilet, go down the drain every time I pay for the meal! I want my monies to be work for some time, u know digested properly!
Hilarious!! New York lifestyle at its best! George is so straight-forwardly devious and so straight-forwardly superficial. I just love him!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Pres – tea - gious:
I went to a Mall last week. I don’t know which one because all look the same to me. And my only reason for venturing there was that it was too hot to do anything outside and the ACied surrounding was a welcome relief for a change. But that’s not the story here.
I like tea. Better than coffee. Coffee I can have only once in the morning and once in the evening. Tea is anytime anyplace. Over a Cuppa – means over a cup of ‘Tea’. From Masala Chai to Earl Greys, (to Long island ‘Tea’ ;-) anything will do. But anyway, that again is not the point here.
At this Mall, there was a Café Coffee Day. The guy over the counter taking orders was rude. He had this ‘you little filthy pigs’ attitude. He was arguing with the person before me on why he didn’t he come with some change. Maybe he was having a bad day. When my turn came, I placed an order for a Darjeeling tea and an iceberg for a friend. He immediately looked down his nose at me (actually everybody looks down on me coz I am very short) and proclaimed – “(I hope u know that) Darjeeling is a very light tea.” I couldn’t help myself; I made a face at him and said – “ I KnoW!!”
So what is the deal here? Is Darjeeling served to only the immaculately dressed, lipstick and mascara in place kind of people and not to jhallas like me? Or suddenly Darjeeling has become a fad and people order it without knowing the taste and he was only doing his duty of informing me? It’s after all an acquired taste.
Another guy came and served us our order. When I told him to take the milk away, he looked at me as if I was from a village in Bihar. Well it’s a preference; I don’t like milk with my Darjeeling!
Definitely all the jokers there had an attitude and also according to them only classy, elegant people should drink Darjeeling!
Hmmm….when Barista had newly opened, the staff used to inform us that Espresso was black coffee unlike the Expresso’s that we used to have outside. They were never so rude or hoity-toity ….Ohh god, I am again digressing.
I like tea. Better than coffee. Coffee I can have only once in the morning and once in the evening. Tea is anytime anyplace. Over a Cuppa – means over a cup of ‘Tea’. From Masala Chai to Earl Greys, (to Long island ‘Tea’ ;-) anything will do. But anyway, that again is not the point here.
At this Mall, there was a Café Coffee Day. The guy over the counter taking orders was rude. He had this ‘you little filthy pigs’ attitude. He was arguing with the person before me on why he didn’t he come with some change. Maybe he was having a bad day. When my turn came, I placed an order for a Darjeeling tea and an iceberg for a friend. He immediately looked down his nose at me (actually everybody looks down on me coz I am very short) and proclaimed – “(I hope u know that) Darjeeling is a very light tea.” I couldn’t help myself; I made a face at him and said – “ I KnoW!!”
So what is the deal here? Is Darjeeling served to only the immaculately dressed, lipstick and mascara in place kind of people and not to jhallas like me? Or suddenly Darjeeling has become a fad and people order it without knowing the taste and he was only doing his duty of informing me? It’s after all an acquired taste.
Another guy came and served us our order. When I told him to take the milk away, he looked at me as if I was from a village in Bihar. Well it’s a preference; I don’t like milk with my Darjeeling!
Definitely all the jokers there had an attitude and also according to them only classy, elegant people should drink Darjeeling!
Hmmm….when Barista had newly opened, the staff used to inform us that Espresso was black coffee unlike the Expresso’s that we used to have outside. They were never so rude or hoity-toity ….Ohh god, I am again digressing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)